Shapeshift

by Hana Malhas

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credits

released March 12, 2010

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Hana Malhas Amman, Jordan

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Track Name: Olive Tree
The sweat slides off your skin and follows your hand as it sinks into the dirt.
I watch you from a window and I hear your silent communion with the earth.
One day I’ll ask you to grow me an olive tree.

Rain comes at night, reluctant at first, then loud and strong.
Then loud and strong, gushing out of air, thick with thirst.

I can finally breathe, at least until the next sleepless night.
Tonight I’ll dream that you planted me an olive tree.

One day I’ll ask you to grow me an olive tree.
Track Name: Wings & Bricks
You took your hardest breath, expected nothing less
You spoke your hardest truth, you knew you had to choose

Chorus
With wings on your back, and bricks in your chest
You beat out the fear, till there’s nothing left

Shapeshift and learn, unravel and burn
Like nothing that came before, like ten thousand open doors

Like nothing that came before, like ten thousand open doors
Your lungs will expand to make room for more

Chorus
Track Name: Distance
When fear holds me down
and dares me to break free,
I try to fight, you calm me down
I’ve got no patience,
there’s only distance
between you and me

Chorus
You walk your desert, I’ll watch the snow fall
We’ll meet next year and make sense of it all

Make sense of it all, make a mess of it all
Cause our love was bigger than

Your hands could ever hold
All those sweet words so bitter now

Our feet grew cold, so cold

Chorus

make a mess of it all, make a mess of it all

I just need to stop before we crash
I need to rest my tired heart
I just need to stop til I hear you say
It’s all gonna be alright
Alright, so right,

Alright, so right, it’s not alright

Cause you’re not that brave
And I’m not that strong
Let this silence convince you that we don’t belong
Let this distance convince you that we don’t belong
I am yours, but i’m already gone
Track Name: God for a Day
Say goodnight, I’m alone. My lungs command my voice, turning breath into moan, leaving me no choice. These outbursts of sound can’t be tamed, they’re wearing me down and offer no refrain.

It’s my unraveling, it’s perfectly timed.
My skin is glistening with sweat tears and wine.
I’ll be a god today, I’ll silence this cry, I’ll build a dam, to diffuse the waves and hold this wall up high.

I’ll erase what’s been done, I’ll deny my grief, no wailing winds to rile up the seas.

No wailing winds, to rile up seas and shake up their beds.
Oh please, leave me be.
I’ll be a god today, I’ll silence this cry, I’ll build a dam, to diffuse the waves and hold this wall up high.
It’s my unraveling, it’s perfectly timed.
My skin is glistening with sweat tears and wine.
Track Name: Radiate
This is happening you say, I don’t ask what you mean. Let our hands touch, let the words get caught in between. Stolen glances, we’re only brave in the dark. Come with me, don’t hide this in your heart.
If you deny this, I’ll make you stay, call you a liar, I’ll radiate, cause I’m so sure, I’m on fire.
This is happening you say, I hear your voice on my skin, telling me to let go, let this feeling sink in. No more resisting your lips on mine, I’ll just keep kissing till we run out of time.
If I deny this, make me stay, call me a liar, I’ll radiate, cause I’m so sure. I’m so sure, I’m so sure. Baby I’m so sure, I’ll radiate with you.
Track Name: Short on Penance
I couldn’t look at my reflection cause I heard what it would say, that I knew this day would come, and I wouldn’t be ok.

I chose to let you go, I tried to outrun the pain,
Like trying to stay dry, standing under pouring rain

Chorus
Cold water seeps into bone
I crumble like salt and you sink like a stone
I’m still short on the penance I owe my love

I look at you now with nothing to say, fighting the urge to beg you not to go.
Please don’t go.

Won’t you forgive me now, I tried to outrun the pain,
Like trying to stay dry, standing under pouring rain

Chorus

Like leaves of spring, thought I was brave
But I just fall to the ground when seasons change
Only trees can make it through the winter
Stoic and strong, you always gave me shelter
I was wrong, it was you all along

Chorus
Track Name: Rush
There’s a house I didn’t buy, and a life that isn’t mine, in a city I don’t really know – I’ve only been here a few times.
Such little connection ties memory to muscle, adding weight in my chest to that blood pumping vessel.

Chorus
There’s still a rush when you stand near me, I have to look away pretend that I don’t know exactly where we’ve been. I just hold it in.

Still I travel to see you, one chapter after another. You tell me I have aged to resemble my mother. You’re quick to laugh these days. You’re not so angry anymore. I still wonder what might have been, less now than before.

Chorus

You didn’t ask, and I held my tongue. Some words are only meant to be sung.
Track Name: Trooh تروح (cover ft. Yazan Al-Rousan)
تروح، تنساني، اترجاك، يا ملاك
تشغلني، تهواني، تهملني من دنياك
وأترجاك يا ملاك، كنت اترجاك

الك دينك، وإلي ديني، لو تنسي كل شي وتضميني
ونعيش نحلم سوى، ونموت وحنا سوى
وأترجاك يا ملاك، كنت اترجاك
Track Name: Long After
Oh mama, not enough time
I can’t make this right, but I’ll stand by your side
Long after my body has died

Chorus
Maybe I was scared, but I always find my way
Oh I’ll be the rain when you want to cry
I’ll be the sun, I just need you to try
and smile for me, go on smile for me

The years will go by, you’ll all get older
So tell them the stories, oh tell them the stories
of my heart full of passion, and my head full of trouble
and how easy it was to make you laugh

Chorus
Track Name: Your Story
Tell me about the places you’ve been to
the land that was taken
and the lies that you saw through
Tell me the truth you’d rather not face
decisions you’ve lived with and the ones you’d erase

Spend your time looking out a window
letting in the sun rays, letting go letting go
This house is old, its walls were built so long ago
but the streets are still quiet, filled with people you know

Wasted time waiting in long lines
with deadweight of paper, losing your mind
Spend your time standing in long lines
waiting a lifetime, being denied

Tell me about the places you’ve been to
the land that was taken
and the lies that you saw through
Tell me the truth, you’d rather not face
decisions you’ve lived with and the ones you’d erase
Track Name: Took a Life
What do you know of my heart, of all its struggle with my head
I took a life to save my own, now there’s a devil in my bed.
What do you know of this war, of all the hope that’s run dry
I took a life to save my own, and left my soul to slowly die

Lay down your gun before you lose your ground
Lay down your gun before it takes you down
Your heart will break painful and slow, go on now go

Don’t look at me and nod your head, like you see what I see
because your eyes were like mine, before the demons were set free

Lay down your gun before you lose your ground
Lay down your gun, oh Leave this place
Before you lose your ground, before it takes you down
Your heart will break, painful and slow, go on now go

The only way to understand all this blood on my hands is to take my place, bite down hard, don’t be scared and don’t you run.

Lay down your gun, before you lose your ground
Lay down your gun, oh leave this place
Before you lose your ground, before it takes you down
Your heart will break, painful and slow, go on now go
oh, lay down your gun, go on now go
Track Name: City by the Sea
Sway, find your way to me.
Sway to the rhythm of the city by the sea, sway find your way to me.
I’ll be home where sand meets stone.
I keep tempo with my ear to your chest, this is where I choose to be, where my head can rest.
I’ll be home where sand meets stone.
I’ll be home.
Track Name: Eroding Stones
If we stand still, like stones on the ground
every breath held in, every muscle bound in place,
then I will see your face like an after-storm sky,
all the grey blued out and the dark cast aside,

and the light will clear my mind and steady the beating of my confused and distracted heart.

This silent sunlit space will tell us we’re better apart
All of my tears, relentless currents eroding stones.
I know we’re afraid to slow our lives down,
to find that we were wrong, that we should have
let this go, let it fall behind as we move along.

And the light will clear my mind and steady the beating of my confused and distracted heart.

But I’m not ready for change, so give me somewhere to be
give me everything to do, cause I won’t sit still